Silence

Friday, September 15, 2017


I have a huge debt to silence.

I have spent so much time with it, mostly mind-wandering. There were times when I enjoyed myself, around 2013. I spent time with books and became an avid writer. I learned meditation and practiced it every morning. At that particular time, I learned how to become independent and trust myself in tackling problems at the end of the year, focusing on my main goal. It gave me space to learn more by myself and meet new people. 

When I started to work, I changed my perspective toward silence progressively. I observed how people were being ignorant; they were silently hating each other but never brought it on a discussion in the meeting sessions. People were being ignorant; they were aware of the group problem, yet let another fix it (you know, the bystander effect: in the end, everyone does nothing). People were being ignorant; they had different opinions but remained silent. People were being ignorant; they were studying things yet making no change.

But in a world full of silence, I met mentors who rejected silence in the team.
My group mentor argued that when you can't talk and discuss with someone, you have to hit his head with a stone (it was only a pun). 
My thesis (and life) supervisor said, who underlined, "You have to tell me when you have an objection, and we can discuss it" in our projects.

In psychology, silence is an important thing in an interview and counseling session, and I still do think it is important. But research showed some incredible results of discussion: it reduces your prejudice and bias toward outgroup members, making you have positive attitudes toward strangers and even fall in love. 

Silence gives us a space to rethink and evaluate ourselves, especially when we are angry.
Silence gives us a space to fight our Id and let the Superego comes in, maintaining our sane Ego.

But silence kills when you give it a superpower to dominate you.

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